Top 3 Middle-Grade Writing Mistakes
Middle-grade writing is a wondrous, whimsical world brimming with fun, friendship, fumbles, and feelings. It should evoke awe and wonder and pulse with kid energy – but packing all that into a story that resonates with 8–12-year-olds is harder than it sounds. Don’t worry, we can definitely diagnose the problem.
The three likely suspects: The Age Anomaly, The Adult Ambush, and The Humour Hole.
I’ve worked on a tonne of MG books, and I’ve seen these pop up time and time again to drain the life, fun, and authenticity from your story. Don’t stress – they’re all fixable.
The Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)
1. The Age Anomaly
I don’t mean their actual age – I mean that they’ve been shaped too much by the adult writing them, and it shows in their voice, dialogue, actions, and logic. Often, there’s a clash between the two, and this leads to drifting from one to the other – from toddler to teenage tearaway – all in one chapter.
Kids are smart; they’ll notice instantly if your characters don’t talk, walk, and play in the dirt just like they do.
Too young
This usually happens when the author tries too hard to make them ‘sound like a child’. Instead, they can end up like bratty toddlers, throwing tantrums and using baby-speak. If the logic they then use is impulse-based – barely thinking before acting, reacting purely with emotion – they may be written too young.
Too old
Far more common are characters who are 12 going on 42. They talk like lawyers, yet their ripped-knee dungarees, messy hair, and sweet tooth scream child. It can make them come across as precocious and sometimes… not all that likeable. If your character overthinks, makes choices after deep, internalised self-reflection, or has more data to go on than a leading tech company, you may need to let them make messier, more childlike choices.
If your nine-year-old protagonist says, “May I enquire whether you would be interested in establishing a social relationship?” instead of “Wanna be friends?”… you’ve probably let the adult slip in.
The Fix: Do Your Research
Spend time with them. Borrow your nieces, nephews, a friend’s kid, or volunteer in a local school.
Read extensively. Devour middle-grade books in your genre. Even ones you’d not usually pick up.
Watch and learn. Observe TV shows aimed at your target audience. Focus on how they express themselves, speak, move, and feel. Their grammar won’t be perfect, their logic won’t always be sound, and their reactions will be inconsistent and over-the-top – but that’s what makes kids messy, real, and come alive on the page.
2. The Adult Ambush
Naturally, a middle-grade story includes adults, but they can’t steal the spotlight.
They’re important – they provide safety, comfort, and advice – but when they stop being side characters and venture into main character territory, it’s time to park the parents, halt the handlers, and ground those grandparents.
When adults solve the problem, readers feel cheated. It’s the child’s story after all – let them earn that victory… or squirm in the mess!
The Fix: Ask Yourself:
Do adults have more page time than the hero?
Are they offering more than comfort, care, or safety?
Is their adult logic creeping into the narrative?
Are they the source of most key information?
Do their actions/decisions help resolve the plot/conflict?
Do they conveniently appear to fix everything when stakes get high?
Is the emotional core all about them – does your protagonist spend too much time thinking about what they’d think, say, do, etc?
Does your story crumble if you remove the adults?
If the answer is ‘yes’ to most of these, you’ve got an Adult Ambush on your hands.
Adults should linger on the periphery, appear only when needed, and provide much-needed resources, but never run the show – that’s your protagonist’s job.
3. The Humour Hole
Middle grade without humour is like an ice cream without chocolate sauce and sprinkles – it’s still okay, but… why settle for plain when you can have delicious?
If your manuscript isn’t making readers laugh, you may have fallen into the Humour Hole. Kids expect fun; it’s what life should be about for them. However, many writers fall into the trap of making the plot too serious, worrying that humour distracts, or thinking it slows pacing.
Just remember, even dark stories need light moments, and a well-placed laugh keeps readers hooked and turning pages.
Humour isn’t your protagonist standing centre stage and telling jokes, it’s in everything: observations, conversations, situations. Think a scene has become outrageously absurd? They’ll love it. Wonder if that dialogue is too silly? It’s perfect. Have a daft internal metaphor? Nicely done!
Keep it simple, accessible and character-driven. A big, bold, face full of funny works beautifully – but so does clever humour when it grows naturally with your character.
The Fix: Find the Funny
Observe. Watch children interact. Their logic often makes no sense, their honesty is blunt, their quirks make them each unique, and they find humour in all of it.
Don’t force it. Funny moments usually arise naturally from a situation: misheard instructions, invented words, random observations, spectacular overreactions, tumbling from one calamity to the next. And all before breakfast!
Combine the comedy. Lighten sad moments with a little fun, sprinkle humour into the dialogue and weave it around the high-stakes scenes.
Get some guinea pigs. Want to know if the humour hits? Try it out. Kids are the best to judge whether your book tickles their funny bone.
So, if you’ve spotted one (or all three!) of these sneaky culprits in your manuscript, don’t panic – you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not stuck. The good news? These are some of the most common issues in middle-grade writing… and the most fixable. If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and start tweaking, I’ve got something that’ll help you tackle them head-on.
Check out my Children’s Book Editing Checklist for practical advice and a little humour to nudge your writing in the right direction. Falling into that humour hole is easy, but getting out of it isn’t. Allow your characters to be their messy, weird little selves, and the comedy will follow.
Need Help with Your Middle-Grade Manuscript?
Working with an editor who understands children can make a huge difference between a manuscript that feels ‘almost there’ and one that truly lands.
I bring experience editing everything from picture books to YA, plus a 20+ year career where I was surrounded by tiny humans every day, so if you’re looking for someone who gets it – hi!
If your MC is more prehistoric than histrionic, your adults are stealing every scene, or the Humour Hole has swallowed you whole, I can help dig you out – I may even bring ice cream and sprinkles!
Check out my website for prices, client testimonials, and even more resources to help your writing shine.