Show, Don't Tell Isn't Just Better Writing – It Helps Children Grow

Before becoming a freelance book editor, I spent over twenty years working with tiny humans. I listened to them read, watched them fall in love with stories, and occasionally convinced them not to shove a book into the fish tank – we’ve all been there, I’m sure.

The hours spent watching them learn, feel, and grow through those stories shaped the way I think about children's literature – not just as entertainment, but as a way children explore emotions, relationships, and the world around them.

We’ve all heard the phrase show, don't tell – it's one of the most common pieces of writing advice out there. And it is great advice. It creates more vivid descriptions, evokes stronger emotions, and allows readers to become more immersed in your story.

But I think there’s another reason children’s writers should care about it. Sure, the principle applies across all genres, but I believe it has particular importance in children’s books.

Showing doesn't just make a story better. It helps children learn how to understand other people.

That's why I comment ‘Trust your reader’ on so many client manuscripts.

Let’s take a nervous 12-year-old about to head off on a trip without her parents for the first time:

Telling:

Katy was nervous about the week-long school trip.                                                               

Showing:

Katy twisted the sleeve of her jumper and glanced at the rucksack at her feet. Five days. She could manage five days. She peered at the coach parked outside and tried to find her mum in the crowd of parents waiting to wave them off.

The second example doesn't actually say Katy is nervous.

Instead, readers notice her behaviour and draw their own conclusions.

Why ‘Showing’ Matters for Young Readers

It helps children understand emotions

Stories are one of the safest places children get to practise recognising emotions. And over time, that can help develop their emotional literacy.

When children work out how Katy is feeling for themselves, they're doing more than reading a story, they’re learning to understand how feelings are expressed. They then get to experience those feelings right alongside the character, rather than simply being told about them.

Because children are still developing their understanding of emotions, stories that show feelings through actions, body language, and dialogue give them opportunities to interpret and explore those emotions for themselves. Instead of telling children that a character is sad, frightened, or excited, you’re inviting them to work it out and actively engage.

No telling.
No ‘this is how you are meant to feel or react.’
No spoon-feeding.
And kids don’t want that anyway, they want to be kids – messy little chaos magnets who discover things for themselves.

In the example above, instead of being told Katy is nervous, they see her twisting her jumper, the careful glance at her packed bag, the searching for that familiar face in the crowd – all clues to Katy’s emotions.

Repeatedly seeing emotions explored in stories can help children build a richer emotional vocabulary and a deeper understanding of how feelings can be expressed and experienced. And let’s face it, a character who feels how they’ve likely felt at some point is relatable. Don’t shy away from big feelings and difficult topics, kids can handle them – sometimes better than us adults.

Think about when you’ve seen a child upset a classmate – I know, I know, they’re little angels who would never do anything like upset someone 😉– would you just say, ‘You made Josh sad?’ or would you explain why? I mean, that might also involve some telling off for the toadhead name-calling, but you get the idea.

And that’s kind of the same principle. Showing lets them see why their actions make others react the way they do, shows the consequences of those actions, and deepens their understanding of how that works in reverse.

It helps children see the world through someone else’s eyes

Inference is one of the most important reading comprehension skills children develop. Every time they piece together clues from a character's actions, dialogue or expressions, they're making an inference. Rather than spelling everything out, stories that trust readers to draw conclusions strengthen these skills naturally.

But this isn't just a reading skill. When children work out what a character is feeling, they're also practising seeing the world from someone else's perspective.

When they feel, see, or imagine a character's emotions on the page, they experience those feelings alongside them, and books feel like a safe place to explore those relationships, difficult situations, and perspectives that differ from their own.

Children are often far more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Honestly? They’re amazing at noticing the things adults assume they’ll miss. You know, like when two teachers are dating and think they’re being subtle. It’s all okay until the kids spot them talking and giggle, ‘Ooh, is that your boyfriend, Miss?’

Give them a story that lets them notice things, and they’ll be all over the hair twirling, the hesitant smile, the long pause when a character is asked a question.

It’s those details that allow them to step into the character’s shoes.

When an author uses showing, they’re trusting young readers to notice the clues that have been woven into a story, helping them practise recognising emotions in others. They're not simply reading about kindness, courage, or disappointment – they're experiencing them too. That's where empathy grows, and empathy isn't something we're told, it's something we experience.

It creates stories children fall in love with

Write about the little boy who has big feelings about his lost dog, or the teen girl who is lonely at her new school, and you’re more likely to hit on something relatable.

Now, if you write those characters using showing rather than telling – less fact, more feeling – you’ll enable the reader to experience those emotions too.

Showing encourages active thinking. It allows them to imagine themselves in the story, with the drama unfolding around them. They get to experience it for themselves and create their own mental images, and they’re able to notice details and make connections between what characters do and how they feel. It’s ultimately that sense of discovery that keeps them immersed and more engaged.

These are the stories and characters that stay with a child long after the book is closed. And who among us doesn’t still remember that one book from our childhood that we loved so hard it eventually fell apart? I do, I was once that child who begged to stay in at playtime just so I could finish one more chapter.

Showing Doesn't Mean Describing Everything

Of course, show, don't tell isn't an unbreakable rule, and strong writing isn't about eliminating every instance of telling. Sometimes telling is exactly what's needed.

It's about choosing the moments where showing creates a deeper emotional connection.

Because ultimately, show, don’t tell isn’t just about better writing.

It’s about trusting young readers.

Trusting them to notice.

Trusting them to feel.

Trusting them to discover.

For a free resource, check out my Show, Don't Tell Cheat Sheet.